The Rum Tum Tugger (Rap song)

"The Rum Tum Tugger" is a hip hop number about the Street Cat version of Rum Tum Tugger. It was introduced in 2014 to replace the original rock 'n' roll version of the song, which Andrew Lloyd Webber called "boring and outdated".

It is adapted from the original song, but has significant lyric changes, a rap section and an additional dance break. Elements of the original music remain with a heavy squared beat underscoring the lyrics. It ends with Tugger proclaiming himself the "Jelli-coolest Cat".

History
This version of "The Rum Tum Tugger" was used between 2014 and 2016 in the following productions: both London Palladium runs, the 2015 Blackpool production, the 2015 Paris revival (translated into French), the 2016 Australia/New Zealand tour and the 2016 UK/Europe tour.

Lyrics
 Tugger: Me-ow.

Ensemble: The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat

Munkustrap: If you offer him a pheasant he would rather have grouse

Jennyanydots: If you put him in a house then he'd much prefer a flat

Alonzo: If you put him in a flat then he'd rather have a house

Jellylorum: If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat

Munkustrap: If you set him on a rat then he'd rather chase a mouse

Ensemble: The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast For he will do As he do, do And there's no doing anything about it

The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore

Mistoffelees: When you let him in then he wants to be out

Mungojerrie: He's always on the wrong side of every door

Demeter: And as soon as he's at home then he likes to get about

Admetus: He likes to lie in a bureau drawer

Munkustrap: But he makes such a fuss if he can't get out

Ensemble: The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat For he will do As he do, do And there's no doing anything about it

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast

His disobliging ways are a matter of habit

Skimbleshanks: If you offer him fish then he always wants a feast

Asparagus: If there isn't any fish then he won't eat rabbit

Bombalurina: If you offer him cream then he'll sniff and sneer

Munkustrap: If you put it away on the larder shelf

Ensemble: Then you'll catch him in it right up to the ears

Tugger: For I only like what I find for myself

I'm a big bad cat, I make my own decisions Never try to control me 'cause I won't listen I'm a furious, curious, luxurious beast An alley cat, a scally-wag, I'm running the streets I'm serious, you're hearing this on the edge of your seats I'm a rebel on a level with a devilish streak

You give me a grouse, I want a pheasant You give me a mouse? I'm not a peasant! You're giving me the biggest house down south to live in But I much prefer a flat where the rats are getting fat Forget the flat - I want a house and kittens!

Ensemble: The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat Uh huh!

Tugger: Let me in and I wanna be out (Ensemble: Uh huh!) When I'm at home, I wanna get about I doubt you can ignore my sharp scratchy claws I'm always on the wrong side of every door I've heard people say I'm a terrible bore They might catch me chilling in a bureau drawer Catching Z's when I please, when I snooze and snore For sure never met a cat like me before

Ensemble: For he will do As he do, do

Tugger: Give me a fish and I'll shout for a feast Give me what I want or you'll get serious grief (Ensemble: Uh huh!) Give me cream and I'll sniff and sneer But you'll catch me in it right up to my ears I'm artful and knowing, I start the trouble I'm going and I'm growing on you quicker than stubble I don't want cuddles, don't care for snuggles When you rub my fur I don't purr, I struggle Leap on you when you're sewing, now your task is double There's nothing I like more than a horrible muddle

Ensemble: The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat For he will do As he do, do And there's no doing anything about it!

(dance break)

Ensemble: The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat For he will do As he do, do

Tugger: And there's no doing anything... And there's no doing anything... And there's no doing anything about it

Drop crotch and my hat switched back Straight out the 'hood with a fresh new rap I'm about to put this thing on the map Rum to the Tum, Jellicoolest cat

Let me hear ya? (Ensemble: Jellicoolest cat!) Let me hear ya? (Ensemble: Jellicoolest cat!) Everybody to the left (Ensemble: Jellicoolest cat!) Everybody to the right (Ensemble: Jellicoolest cat!) From the front to the back (Ensemble: Jellicoolest cat!) Jellicoolest's where it's at (Ensemble: Jellicoolest cat!) Jellicoolest cat (Ensemble: Jellicoolest cat!) Jellicoolest cat (Ensemble: Jellicoolest cat!)

International Versions

 * French

Audio

 * "The Rum Tum Tugger" from the 2016 UK Tour (bootleg audio - jumps slightly ahead towards the end)


 * "The Rum Tum Tugger" in French from the 2015 Paris revival (bootleg audio)