The Naming of Cats

"The Naming of Cats" explains the naming customs of the Jellicle Cats. It is the second musical number in the show, with the audience having just been introduced to the tribe in the prologue.

Context
"Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" ends abruptly, as Asparagus interrupts:

 There's a man over there with a look of surprise As much as to say, well now how about that?

Munkustrap adds:

 Do I actually see with my own very eyes A man who's not heard of a Jellicle Cat?

The cats are at first suspicious and reluctant to allow the audience in their domain. But then at this, the entire ensemble gathers to quietly, intensely, explain in unison about The Naming of Cats. They explain to their human visitors who they are and reveal that cats have three different names: the one the family uses daily, a more dignified name and a secret name. The contemplation of these secret names keep the felines deep in thought.

Rather than sung, the number is recited in unison by the cast. In most productions, the cast will leave the stage and spread out among the theatre, making intense eye contact with members of the audience as they recite the lyrics. They then disappear through various side exits as the number ends, with only Victoria remaining on stage for her "White Cat Solo".

History
The text for this number is taken in its entirety from the T S Eliot poem of the same name from Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats (1939). Many of the ensemble characters' names are drawn from the names mentioned in the poem; in fact very few of the names mentioned are not attached to a character in at least some productions.

Lyrics
 The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter, It isn't just one of your holiday games; You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter When I tell you a cat must have three different names.

First of all, there's the name that the family use daily, Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James, Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey, All of them sensible, everyday names.

There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter, Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames: Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter, But all of them sensible everyday names.

But I tell you a cat needs a name that's particular, A name that's peculiar, and more dignified, Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular, Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?

Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum, Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo or Coricopat, Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum, Names that never belong to more than one cat.

But above and beyond there's still one name left over, And that is the name that you never will guess; The name that no human research can discover, But the cat himself knows, and will never confess.

When you notice a cat in profound meditation, The reason, I tell you, is always the same: His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:

His ineffable effable Effanineffable Deep and inscrutable singular name.

Trivia

 * All of the "fancier" but still "sensible everyday names" are taken from ancient Greek figures, either historical ("Plato") or mythological ("Admetus", "Electra", "Demeter")
 * The only name mentioned that has not been used in a replica Cats production is "James". Of the more obscure ones, "Peter" was the name of the ensemble identity of Gus in the Broadway revival; "Jonathan" was a swing character in the World Tour, "Augustus" was a swing character in South Korea.