Magical Mister Mistoffelees

 The song "Magical Mr. Mistoffelees" is a song about the character, Mr. Mistoffelees. The song is usually performed by Rum Tum Tugger, although in some versions, Mr. Mistoffelees also sings.

Lyrics
You ought to ask magical Mr Mistoffelees

The original conjuring cat

There can be no doubt about that

Please, listen to me!

And don't scoff,

All his inventions are off his own bat

-

There's no such cat in the Metropolis

He holds all the patent monopolies

For performing surprising illusions

And creating eccentric confusions

-

The greatest magicians have something to learn

From Mr Mistoffelees conjuring turn!

-

And we all say

"Oh! Well, I never!

Was there ever a cat so clever as

Magical Mr Mistoffelees?"

-

He is quiet, he is small, he is black

From his ears to the tip of his tail,

He can creep through the tiniest crack,

He can walk on the narrowest rail,

-

He can pick any card from a pack,

He is equally cunning with dice,

He's always deceiving you into believing

That he's only hunting for mice,

-

He can play any trick with a cork,

Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste,

If you look for a knife or a fork

And you think that it's merely misplaced

-

You've seen it one moment,

But then it is gone!

But you'll find it next week,

Laying out on the lawn

-

And we all say

"Oh! Well, I never!

Was there ever a cat so clever as

Magical Mr Mistoffelees?"

-

(Presto!)

-

"Oh! Well, I never!

Was there ever a cat so clever as

Magical Mr Mistoffelees?"

-

"Oh! Well, I never!

Was there ever a cat so clever as

Magical Mr Mistoffelees?"

-

His manner is vague and aloof

And you would think there was nobody shier

But his voice can heard on the roof

When he was curled up by the fire

-

And has sometimes been heard by the fire

While he was about on the roof

At least, we all heard that somebody purred

Which is incontestable proof

-

And of his singular magical powers

I've known the family to call

Him in from the garden for hours

While he was asleep in the hall

-

And, not long ago, this phenomenal cat

Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!

-

And we all say,

"Oh! Well, I never!

Was there ever a cat so clever as

Magical Mr Mistoffelees?"

-

And, not long ago, this phenomenal cat

Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!

-

And we all say,

"Oh! Well, I never!

Was there ever a cat so clever as

Magical Mr Mistoffelees?"

-

"Oh! Well, I never!

Was there ever a cat so clever as

Magical Mr Mistoffelees?"

-

"Oh! Well, I never!

Was there ever a cat so clever as

Magical Mr Mistoffelees?"

-

"Oh! Well, I never!

Was there ever a cat so clever as

Magical Mr Mistoffelees?"

-

"Oh! Well, I never!

Was there ever a cat so clever as

Magical Mr Mistoffelees?"

-

I give you:

The magical,

The Marvelous,

Mr Mistoffelees!